just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
