I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
