You're so nebulous sometimes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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