No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
