Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
