My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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