homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
