Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
