Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
