all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
