I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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