it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How external is "for external use only"?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
