I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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