So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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