Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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