She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
