You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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