My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
