Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
