I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
