Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
