Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sober January is a disaster.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
