is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me i tasted like america
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
