Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's blow job season.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
