Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he thought i was a dude.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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