why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
