This girl is more easily done than said...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i believe in u and ur pee
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
