"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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