toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
