In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
