i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
