Whod you bang
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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