She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
