Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
