i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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