I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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