woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
