Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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