Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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