He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My liver just broke up with me...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
