i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
