Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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