so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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