I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
