This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
