My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
