First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
