It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
