): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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