Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
