we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
