Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
