Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
